I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
