is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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