hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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