dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
