The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
