Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
you will always have a special place in my vag
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
