So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
im holly from the hills drunk
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
