On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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