And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
