Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
