Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
