does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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