I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
