I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I could make wine with my vomit
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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