Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
