so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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