You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You're a waste of cheezeits
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
