i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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