Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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