Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
