at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Floor bacon is actually really good
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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