hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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