She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
