dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
