dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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