I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
