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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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