Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
