am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
