Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
