You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
