Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
