She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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