I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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