im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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