It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize