Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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