I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize