sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
