Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i think my mom watched the whole time
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
