So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
