My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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