i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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