i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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