your room smells of hookers.
And success
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
