ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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