Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
