I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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