I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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