I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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