brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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