watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
