all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
