Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
