:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
