Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
