We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
