so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
