weddingsv make me drug and hornr
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
