I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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