OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
