Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
