how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
