We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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