Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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