you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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