The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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