____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
